Uplifting and comical…a look at my life, motherhood and the circus that goes with it

DATE: January 19th, 2016

LOCATION: my son’s pre-k pickup line

TIME: approximately 11:30am

MINDSET: optimistic prior to incidenthappy emoji

TIME OF INCIDENT: 11:32AM

INCIDENT: child’s refusal of proper attire

TEMPERATURE READING OUTSIDE: -7 WITH WINDCHILL winter

 

THE MOTHER:    Girls, (talking to Twins), can you please put on your coat?

TWIN 1: NOOOO!

THE MOTHER:    Please?

TWIN 1: I SAAAIIID NOOO!

THE MOTHER: COME ON GIRLS, CAN YOU PLEASE PUT ON YOUR COAT? TWIN 2?coat

TWIN 2: NO! I don’t want to!

THE MOTHER: Well, what about your hats, can you please put on your hats? The teacher wants to see your hats!

(No, she doesn’t, you want to show her their hats, its’ about you).

TWIN 1 AND TWIN 2: NO! WE SAID WE DON’T WANT TO.

(Mother huffs under her breath as I am staring uncomfortably into outer space wishing I was a martian because I couldn’t understand for the life of me what was happening.)

THE MOTHER: Girls, please….please….come on…please put on your coats. Its’ cold out. Pleassssseeee?

(I can’t take it anymore,screaming lady make this woman stop, seriously. What the fuck is she doing? Tell your kid to put their coat on. If they say no, Take the child’s arm, insert coat around child’s arm. If child starts screaming, continue to grab child’s other arm and insert other coat sleeve…hold coat together, and zip accordingly. Repeat for second child.)

TWIN 2: (after long pause and intense trepidation)…Sure, Mommy, I will put on my coat.

TWIN 1: Me Too…and hats! (smiling large)

THE MOTHER: Thank you girls, thank you so much. Thank you.

(I just aged 10 years in 2 minutes).

TEACHER: Oh Girls! I love your new hats! winter hats.jpg

TWIN 1 AND TWIN 2: Thank you so much.

(Does this teacher even realize what I just went through ?!)

TEACHER: They are just so fancy!

THE MOTHER: Aren’t they adorable?

(teacher smiles)

END SCENE

 

EPILOGUE

If you live at home with your parents, pee your pants, still can only snack all day, sleep in a toddler bed, can’t shower by yourself, pay your bills, drive a car other than your powerwheel, vote for a president (presidents aren’t princesses btw), drink an appletini…..then most likely you are not a parent, now its just trying to convince your own parents of that.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment! I'd love to see what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Tales from the Mommy Trenches

The life of a former attorney turned SAHM

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

momaste

the mom in me bows to the mom in you

So Here's Us...

life on the raggedy edge.

My thoughts on a page.

Living, Laughing, Loving, Loathing.

A Walk on the Wild Side

For those who love addicts

Honey Did you See That?

I retired at 50 something, returned to North America and began blogging. All posts are 100% true, except when they're not funny enough, or when I can't remember the details. Menopause is heartless. Huge thanks to my comic book writing son, Matt, my Header designer.

Peas and Cougars

If real life were a cartoon, I would be a triangle, which is probably better than being a square.

mommytrainingwheels

Ramblings of a sleep-deprived mother

%d bloggers like this: