Dearest first born,
…Nine years today I became a mother. Nine years ago today, I left my title as just somebody and became a mom…to you. You gifted me with this. Thank you.
…We have been through a lot together, you and me. All the tears, the laughter and the fights that in the moment feel like they aren’t as fleeting as they are, but we pull through them…every time unscathed.
…..Our Love is strong. It’s like looking in a mirror somethimes when I look at you, and all the bickering that we do is just from love…I think for both of us.
….I am going to tell you that I was not ready when you came, but really who is. I am going to tell you that there were many nights that I was not home and should have been reading to you. I was running away from unhappiness, and in turn looked to be that I was running away from you too. I’m sorry.
…I’m going to remind you that how you live your life will be up to you. I can only guide you through it…offer suggestions…possibly argue that what you are doing is wrong…I may not support it…but I want you to remember that I will always support you because I love you…and I know that you will know what is right…at the end of the day…and dance like no one is watching.
…Nobody is perfect, and I never expect you to be. I do expect you to respect others and to live your life with a kind heart…and do it with all of the passion that you possess that shines through each and every day that I am near you..
..I want you to believe in yourself, to trust in your instincts when you feel something is wrong. I cannot always be there to tell you, but your instinct will tell you what I would say to you. You will be able to hear me through that. Listen to it.
…Jealousy will ruin your life. Don’t let it. Look inward for improvement, do not be envious of others as a replacement. Focus on how you treat people and not what other people do..be true, be you.
…Sweetheart, you are talented, beautiful and smart. You are not these things because I told you to be them. You are them because it is who you are and no one can copy it. It is what makes you, you…and what makes you, my daughter. Embody it.
…I want you to live your life as such. I wish for you to wipe away your insecurities and believe in what you are. I wish for you to stop worrying so much, that as you will see as you age, that the little things that you shed tears over mean nothing in comparison to the big things that really matter…like being a mother yourself one day.
…Remember that there isn’t a day that I don’t think of you, wondering what you are doing when I am not with you. Know that you are always safe when you feel like you aren’t. I will protect you. I will remember that my life is just as valuable as yours because you need me here to live yours…and this is something that I am very ready for….and will not ignore…because I am your “mama”.. forevermore.
Happy Birthday sweet girl. I love you dearly.