Uplifting and comical…a look at my life, motherhood and the circus that goes with it

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6:30am, Damn it! Shut up alarm! I want to go back to bed. Snooze. Shit, no, I can’t. Gotta get my kids up. Waaaaa! That means I have to move. I’m too tired to move. Get up. Move! OK, I’m up, I’m up. Great, I hate waking them up. They are so miserable. I really don’t want to deal with this right now. I hate fighting before 7am.

“wake up, sweetie, It’s time to get up.”

(Grumble)

“I’ don’t want to.”

“You have to.”

Awesome. I’m too tired for this. I need coffee. Wait, I need to make lunches first, Crap, my husband is up now, so he needs coffee first before he needs to leave for the office. “MOMMY!” Great, now my son is up. He will want to eat. I still need coffee. SO much to do today, now I feel anxious. Crap! You didn’t RSVP to Jake’s b-day party yesterday. I knew I forgot something. I can’t remember everything. I am a terrible mother and preschool mom. I will probably get Alzheimers earlier than most. I’m not perfect. How am I supposed to remember everything? I used to remember everything. I didn’t sign up for this! I’m so happy to be a mom. 

“Mommy, did you hear what I said? I am hungry!”

Get it yourself. I don’t feel like getting it. I’ll get it,.

“What do you want sweetie?”

I didn’t’ even have coffee yet. Oh man, I still haven’t put my husband’s coffee on yet either. Do that first. And….”Brew”..OK, cool, that’s done. Let’s see, what have I got done. Mmmm…nothing else. “H” is still not downstairs. This is why I don’t need exercise, I am going back up the stairs again.

“Please get up, I don’t want you to be late.”

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“I’MMMMMM getting uppppppp!”

Wow, what a B, I’m not even yelling. Blah blah blah…its all about tone they say. Yea right. I still get treated like shit. OK, focus. But, it does work sometimes. Back down the stairs I go…still haven’t had coffee. Water the plants, put a load of laundry in, make lunches.

3rd kid up. “Mommy, I’m hungry.”

Why do these kids constantly have to eat. Everyone needs to wake up at the same time, so I only have to do this once. Look at her, she’s so beautiful I love her so much. 

“Good morning, sweetie,”

H comes down: “Where’s my breakfast?”

Me: Hold on, I’ll get it for you in a second.

Really? Do you think that I work for you? I am not your slave. How old are you again? PPPleassse. OH! I have an idea, homemade waffles, strawberries and whipped cream! They will love it! Gosh, I love staying at home with my kids. I hope they think I’m the best mom ever when they get older. Boom! What was that? Coffee exploded. Of course the K-cup exploded. Why wouldn’t it explode. I have nothing better to do than to fix this exploded coffee. Clean, clean, clean, fix, fix, fix. I love being a wife and making coffee for my husband in the morning. I feel like I am on a commercial. Yea, just like it, but their coffee doesn’t explode.

Good, everyone is eating. Now, I can make my coffee. Wait, I’ll water the plants first and put a load of laundry in first. ..ImageWhy does no one turn their clothes right side out. This is taking forever. Laundry runs my life. Not children. Laundry. It’s the most abusive relationship ever. I am never doing enough and it’s always in my face screaming at me. Hate laundry.

“Mom, did you wash my socks? I have none.”

“Yes, dear, there is a dry pair in the dryer. I”ll get you one.”

Love being able to provide my children with clean, nice clothes. I remember when my mother always had my laundry done perfectly and put away, always feeling like I was taken care of. But, if I didn’t have to do laundry, than I could be doing so many other things, because it takes forever!

Image…Plants are dying. I can’t keep plants alive. I don’t know why I get these things. Feng Shui…blah blah. I just love the greenery in the house. It makes it feel homey to me. I love these plants. I am so glad I got them. I should water them more. I will water them more. Never remember to water them.

I need to make a list. I feel like my head is crashing and I am forgetting what I have to do today. Maybe I should make a daily schedule. I never stick to that schedule. I think a schedule would help me. I still get stressed. I’m going to make a schedule. I’ll do it later. I can’t do it right now. No, I will do it right now because I have about 15 minutes until they have to go to school. Why am I just staring at the paper. I have schedule block. I don’t know how to fit everything in. It shouldn’t be this hard. Okay, never mind, I will make a list, and take it a step at a time….clean bathrooms, do some work at home, water plants, prep dinner, workout, get a birthday present for the party, RSVP the birthday party…..

“Mommy, it’s 7:50! I gotta go! Can you help me?”

“OK, be right there.”

Help you with what? You can’t put a coat on? I hope one day she will say how much she loved that I always helped her put her coat on and then gave her a kiss. A little extra nurturing in the mornings just because. God, I am so blessed with my children. ImageGreat, the zipper is stuck. Why does the zipper get stuck every freaking day!!!! GRRRR! OK, kisses. What would I do without my children..my family.

8pm…Why are you so tired?” My husband says.

“Because I didn’t have any coffee today,”.

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But that’s OK, I will just have some tomorrow.

 

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