Uplifting and comical…a look at my life, motherhood and the circus that goes with it

First, I’d like to formally apologize to the Walt Disney World Maintenance crew who had to clean up the loaded nacho throw up from my daughter on Ariel’s Great Voyage ride in Magic Kingdom…and then to the cleanup crew who found a present when watering the plants by the Pirates of Caribbean…and to those who chose to pee at the same time that she was vomiting what sounded like her entire digestive system.

Second, I’d like to suggest that Crocs are made in size 11/12 ,and that they should be also included in the inventory within every store in Magic Kingdom with the other 18 sizes that we didn’t need that day when we (and I mean me) forgot to pack her tennis shoes after breakfast with Cinderella. I think my biological clock completely stopped ticking during that search for shoes that didn’t have a heel or a thong flip flop that will tear up feet…

….and then they came…like a halo forming over them….awaiting our arrival into shoelace heaven …

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Success… I mean it only took two hours out of my life, a fight with my husband and a stand off with Mickey Mouse in the “happiest place on earth” while being stuck in the crossfire of the parade to find them but whose complaining?…. Image…Not me, because I could have been wearing UGGs trenching around the snow back at home, so I’ll take it with a glass half full attitude and move on from it.

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Because if you don’t, you will crumble as we had witnessed many times over with frustrated parents and crying children. It’s a lot to handle. The excitement, perhaps, the exhaustion or maybe a parent’s expectations that didn’t match up with reality. My advice? You can never go to Disney World expecting a relaxing experience. My second piece of advice? A second time at Disney will never be the same as the first. My children had seemed to fight through the exhaustion easier the first time around because the magic of it all overrode their kneecaps breaking from walking for 13 hours. This time? Well, not so much. My eight year old finally realized what she had been missing by not riding in strollers after having to be stroller -ed around following the vomiting experience…..Image….because as the good parents that we are, refused to leave the park until the fireworks were over (damn it)..but she survived..us …(?????????)

I don’t mean to sound so negative. You just have to be mentally prepared. A Disney World vacation is kind of like becoming a parent for the first time. You know it’s going to rough, but you do it to yourself anyway, so becoming mad that they don’t want to wait in two hour lines in 85 degree weather, is about as reasonable as getting mad at a baby crying because it’s hungry. Time to suck it up.

There is such a small window when the children will actually believe in the magic and appreciate the thrill of meeting their favorite princess or superhero. Time is fleeting, and they will appreciate the lines and the exhaustion as they get older and will remember when Tinkerbell flew from Cinderella’s castle that night during the fireworks and the memory will stick…not the throw up…(you hope at least).

The experience is truly mind blowing. One minute you are crying because of the joy plastered on your child’s face and the next, you are screaming at them for not wanting to wait for Rapunzel. Emotionally exhausting, and at times, questionable, whether you will need to be committing yourself somewhere after the trip. But you do it again, just like having a baby, completely forgetting the bad and remembering the best moments, kind of like when they don’t pee in their diaper and wait for the missile to be loaded until it is able to fire into your eyeball at 3am, usually in the pitch black. Well maybe those moments will still linger a little, but you can laugh about it later… and the memories will last forever as if they were yesterday….and that, is what I believe the Magic of Disney World brings to each of us.

Be true, be you…and my 3rd piece of advice? Do the Disney Cruise after, because they have:

  1. Kids Club
  2. Alcoholic beverages
  3. Swimming pools that there can be at least a 6 foot separation where any complaints can be blocked by noise of island music in the background.
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