Uplifting and comical…a look at my life, motherhood and the circus that goes with it

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“Hey! How are you? You have that baby right?”

“No.”

“ Oh, How many do you have?”

“3.”

“Me TOO! What ages?”
“8, 5 and 3.”

“That’s a perfect age! They are the same ages as mine. We definitely should get a play date together. Does your kids go to “School Choice 1?”

“NO,”

“Oh, well mine do, where do yours go? “School choice 2? Oh I heard great things about that school, not so much our school, but your school, everyone raves about it. We live about five minutes from here. Where are you?”

“By the golf course.”

“Oh, that’s so weird that you don’t go to our school. Morning Kindergarten?

“No.”

“ Oh, that stinks we were going to go to the library today but I guess you can’t because you have to take her to kindergarten. . We moved here from South Hills, well, not really, actually, (wiping a booger away), we moved like four times, first we were in South Hills, then we moved to Sewickley, and then all the way to Philadelphia and now we are here! My husband wants to move again, but I am like…no way dude. I am done…d..o…n…e. Anyway. Yea, lets have a play date soon for sure!.

(crickets aren’t churping, they are dead).

“I’m sorry, what is your name again?”

Have you ever felt violated after meeting someone for the first time? Like someone has just verbally exposed themselves as if they are standing there naked for all to see and somehow you are victim to this verbal explosion. If preschool was still going on, I would have probably still have been standing there with my “messy hair bun” (back log to “What it means to be 33”) looking for an escape route after I heard about “how many orgasms” this week from a lady I have never seen nor talked to before in my life. TMI lady. Simma Down. Get out of the house more. I insist.

I don’t need to go to soccer games and be friends with the mom who used to be my friend when I was 6, and haven’t seen since we were 6, let alone her taking the opportunity to talk about her past heroine addiction…Um, judging by your lace black half shirt at a child’s soccer game on a Saturday morning at 10am, I’m considering the possibility that you still may have one honey. But, whose judging. Not me, because I don’t care to hear about it anyway. Or the school parties, that become more of a social event to discuss the issues you are having with your husband’s ex-wife. No one needs to know that his ex is sleeping with another woman. It’s all good. I got my own problems.

Oh hell, we all do it though, right? I do it. You do it. Oh come on, you know you’ve done it. When you somehow hallucinate and don’t understand how you got from “yea, I’ll pick him back up around 9 tomorrow morning” and ten minutes later you are talking about your whole family having diarrhea and its green looking. Gross. I may be the worse one at it. When we first moved into the school system, I was so concerned about making friends and people liking me that I was telling people in five seconds that my ex is a drug addict, but my husband treats the kids like they are his, and I’m not on state healthcare anymore. (Great way to create a solid foundation…thata girl…).

So why does this happen? Well, I got a couple of considerations..

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First, we are all a little cray cray, no doubt. Second, do we forget how to appropriately interact with others because so often we are hiding behind a computer, Ipad or Phone where we have the ability to say whatever we want without ever seeing a physical reaction? Or last, in a world that is becoming more and more disconnected because of technology or busy schedules, we are still people…and people that still feel the need to connect emotionally. Doesn’t everyone feel better if we are able to align ourselves with someone else, whether to compare problems or to feel that we are not alone. That, yes , so and so is also dealing with something heavy like an alcohol problem or just the fact that the morning was awful because not only did their baby puke all over their breakfast and them, so did the other two kids, the cat and then they puked on themselves as well.

As we get older and older, the relationships that we used to have in our younger years start to dissipate whether it be by proximity, interests or that they, too, are “morning people.” We find ourselves aligning our relationships with people (who are relatively “strangers” to us, for lack of better words) who carry the same schedules as us. We live in the now, and we want affirmation now. So, instead of us calling our old best friend of 25 years to talk about defining moments in our life who cant call us back until who knows when, we are finding ourselves talking with “victim a” who we’ve known for either 5 seconds or 3 months about our ex’s court dates in a senseless ramble in between our children interrupting us.

Case in point, aren’t I doing just that by writing this blog. Aren’t I reaching out to anyone who will listen about information that is totally useless to them, but makes me feel better to know that people are listening? Aren’t I trying to connect with those who understand this life that is a complete circus in hopes to refocus on what really matters at the end of the day. I would say so….so, yes, I totally do it. I absolutely have no self control and will admit to such…however, as I sit here right now and realize that there is yellow ear wax crusted outside of my ear and stuck to my face that is now flaking off…I will not go run and tell someone about it…damn, see, I just did it again.

Be true, be you and be a little Cray cray..its ok.

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